Doing, Not Doing

Suddenly, work is picking up, trips and friends are multiplying in number, and time is flying. As it should be. Times like these call for bulleted lists.

In case you wanted to know more of my day to day experience -- this is for you!

Things I am Doing

• Developing FilmAid's Dropbox account (SHOUT OUT to Matt Spitz for being awesome; ask him why!) and Salesforce database, for use across our teams in London and Nairobi
• Project managing the writing and design of our annual report
• Working through transition of staff in my office, trying to plan out how work (particularly communications) gets done with not enough staff. Aka working at a non-profit.
• Getting to know my way hip, super hard working and impressive Kenyan colleagues.
• Hanging out with loads of wonderful Australians and picking up their patterns of speech.
• Making friends with some open hearted, deeply empathetic and inspiring individuals. Wow.
• Listening to a lot of people's stories about their religious and spiritual backgrounds (If I speak to someone for more than 20 minutes, the conversation will get there 75% of the time)
• Eating the same thing for lunch every day: dengu (lentil stew) with rice or ugali (maize mash), a side of kachumbari (tomato and onion) and fresh juice (if the blender is working! not often the case but I ask every day!)
• Getting out of Nairobi to see beautiful countryside and wildlife (pictures coming from this weekend!!)
• Dancing to Beyonce and learning songs on ukelele
• Loads and loads of yoga with Samson, a teacher from Africa yoga project
• When I'm in town, going to Catholic church with a young American family also from the Bay Area, then joining them for brunch!
• Washing my underwear in the sink
• Relying on a few very kind and trustworthy taxi drivers, who make navigating the city possible in the day to day

Summary: I am living a very comfortable and fun life, getting to know interesting people, and generally having a great time.

Things I am Not Doing

• "Serving," not really. FilmAid is a NGO doing both humanitarian and development work. But I'm working rather than volunteering. For that and other reasons, my mentality is very different from my time in Cape Town. I'm less critical, more sure of my role. For better or worse, I feel that I have something to contribute here, based on my experience working for FilmAid in New York for a year, and given prior relationships (even from afar) with my colleagues.
• Getting stressed out about work, so far - yeah! Something about the atmosphere here, even if things are extremely hectic, is far more laid back. Either it gets done today, or the next day. Maybe I'm on tourist mode or maybe I'm not picking up on how Kenyans deal with stress, but I'll roll with it for now.
• Fully sharing my beliefs/identity, unless I am clearly with like minded company. Kenyan society is very conservative, very Christian, and people perceived as outsiders aren't necessarily viewed or treated well. (Sound like any other places on the planet, near or far?) That being said, I haven't had any negative experiences.
• Going for any night time walks. Security and safety issues in Kenya lead to a more restricted lifestyle -- there are rules about where is safe and what is okay -- but within that, I do feel free. I'm lucky that I have a salary which covers living in a nice area, and taking cab rides whenever I need them.

Summary: I'm navigating day by day and person by person. It's been very interesting.

Coming up in the next post -- Pictures from Lake Naivasha!

Remembering

Now a moment away from Nairobi.

This Friday will be eight years since the death of my Aunt Ruth. The next day will be two months since the death of her daughter, Tiffany.

I miss them.

Certain images have come to hold significance, as I process their lives and their story in my family. Angels. Purple. The Organ. And now- Stars. Candles. Country.

It is strange, yet very real, how these images weave their way into my experiences and come to create meaning. When B, the admin manager in Nairobi walks into the office with purple scarf and shoes, and a bright smile. Ahh, purple is my favorite color, I tell her.

Moments like this seem to come especially when I need them. I think stories and miracles in the bible take on meaning in the same way, as themes and images resurface throughout to tell a bigger story.

On the plane ride here, I read the first chapter of Mark, knowing that my fellow congregants St. Lydia's would be reading the same in the coming month. A few images were striking that I want to share.

First, of the voice crying out in the wilderness. Tiffany's husband shared how "O Come Emmanuel" has taken on new significance for him, as grief feels so much like "mourning in lonely exile." We have found ourselves in an empty, lonely place.

The wilderness: far from civilization. The wilderness: no screens, no distractions. Where you are left with your mind, and your survival instincts. Where a voice cries out, prepare the way of the Lord.

Jesus shows up in Mark not as a baby, but as an adult receiving the Holy Spirit. And just a few verses later, he is driven into the wilderness to spend 40 days with the devil.

Here is where I lost it. While Jesus is in the desert, it says:

the angels ministered to him.

The day I left New York, it had been 40 days since Tiffany died. Sitting on the plane, I thought of my time in the wilderness and the angels who ministered to me. So many friends, some very close and some unexpected, who held me together. Sleep overs, serious conversations, meaningless conversations, salads, desserts, text messages, phone calls, and one letter.

My good bye party in New York had been planned for the same weekend I flew to Minnesota for Tiffany's funeral.

More than a month later, I was able to invite friends over for a potluck brunch during the 12 hour layover I had between San Francisco and Nairobi. And they came - so many people came. With food, and smiles, and music. I left for the airport while many people were still at my house. They formed a tunnel and cheered me out the door.

I don't know if Jesus got a tunnel of angels on his way to the airport, but I bet he would understand the feeling.

This is the feeling:

There is love, there is love, there is love.

Mt Longonot

My second week was ALSO about meeting people, gee whiz. I saw an old friend from Stanford, a new friend whom I had met at N's party, went to delicious Ethiopian with my work colleague A and her friends, and finally to drinks with work colleagues on Friday (which included dancing to a live funk band... amazing). Social life!!!

But also about getting a little more settled. I've moved from Chris's apartment to a new place with a family. The wife is Swedish, the husband is Kenyan and their four year old daughter is Adorable.

Today I went hiking with some Australians and Americans, to Mt. Longonot - an inactive (I think) volcano about an hour and a half outside the city. Turns out, as soon as you leave the city you are in beautiful, green countryside. Wow. We saw a black and white monkey in a tree, and baboons crossing the road almost immediately. On the way down from the hike, we also saw a family of giraffe, and a bunch of zebra and elon!

Longonot was a very steep climb up, but then a really beautiful hike around the ridge. Here are my favorite photos. The last one is of three Australian buddies who were on the trek.

Making Friends

My first weekend was all about meeting new people.

Friday, I had lunch with Z, introduced by Aleema from home. Z is "Kenyan Asian." I think she is of Indian descent, and her family has been in Kenya for generations. Z is starting up a consultancy in urban planning. At the moment she is working on a project with Kenyan university students and the Kenyan water and sanitation department. Z had lots of ideas of how to get out and about in Nairobi. I'm hoping we'll go to a theater performance together at Alliance Frances.

That night I went to a going-away party -- for N, who was introduced to me by Kate from home. I had never met N, nor obviously anyone at her party, but gathered the energy to show up and shake hands with a lot of people. The first person I met, as it happens, went to Lick-Wilmerding High School in San Francisco. No joke. I also met a lovely woman named E, who runs a relocation business (for expats coming to Nairobi) with two of her sisters and her mother. E and I had a wonderful conversation, and we're getting dinner tomorrow night.

Saturday I met S, introduced to me by Fadi from home. As it happens, S works for UNHCR's refugee resettlement program. I was fascinated to hear her stories about working with refugees, the terrible experiences that bring them to UNHCR, that qualify them for relocation. Only a very small percentage of refugees are resettled to different countries, simply because there are not nearly enough places who will take them. I didn't realize this, but apparently the United States take 70% of all refugees that are resettled.

That afternoon, S, her colleague K and I went to Kuona Trust in Nairobi -- an artists collective in a big open compound, with live music and open galleries to wander through. It reminded me a lot of Brooklyn, except less crowded and cheaper beer.

Sunday was the first day I got to cry since I got here. I'm glad. It makes me feel more balanced.

Lovely J (Chris's girlfriend) and I had an in-depth conversation, first about science and religion. Then about faith and knowledge. Then about truth and reality. And on and on. We agreed on most topics, but come from different backgrounds -- J is Balinese and practices the faith of her home village, which she described as a kind of animism. She is the first person whom I've told about Tiffany who I think is really open to my sadness. Our conversation was a blessing.

Earlier that day, I got to go to church with G and A, and their two sons. They were introduced through G's dad and mine, who work together back in California. I didn't realize this when I was planning to meet them, but G and A are from the Bay Area. Hanging out with them was a very welcome taste of home. After church we went to brunch, and then they brought me back to their beautiful home in Westlands - which reminds me a lot of Aptos. Wooded suburb with expansive back yards. It was nice just to spend time with a family.

After church and brunch, I went to an Australia Day party also in Westlands. Australia Day is something like Columbus Day in the U.S. Which translates to an excuse for a barbecue. And for J and me, also an excuse to have philosophical and emotional conversations.

And finally, Sunday night, I did yoga and watched Wayne's World with Chris's housemates.

I might be halfway around the world, but I don't feel like I've moved very far from Brooklyn or San Francisco! I'm hoping that I'll get more in touch with Nairobi's wide diversity and many interesting activities, but it feels good to be building a solid, comfortable base of friends and spaces in the meantime.

PSA #1-3

1. In cases where reliable internet access is required, the FilmAid parking lot is the strongest area of service. It is recommended that you set up a patio chair in the shade of a Land Cruiser. Bring tea and water.

2. Using bar soap to wash one's hair may or may not make it cleaner. It does, however, make your hair feel very soapy.

3. If nervous about attending a party where you know zero people, have no fear. Studies show that the first person you speak to will in all likelihood have gone to your high school.

What's Nairobi like?

At this exact moment, I can attempt to answer the impossible question. This moment, when I am three days in, still totally lost, and very aware of the big, obvious differences of Nairobi from anywhere else I've been.

Nairobi is African, and it is cosmopolitan. For instance:

FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!

is what I heard on Monday afternoon, from Sammy, the Communications Assistant (a title that doesn't do justice to just how much work he does), as he was running down the stairs of the FilmAid office.

First reaction: Wait, really? My first day?

No worries people. As a few of us followed Sammy outside, we saw smoke billowing from behind a high rise building across from the FilmAid office's back yard. (Note: FilmAid's office has a back yard.) The smoke quickly turned to steam. We heard from neighbors on their balconies that someone burning trash had caught a tree on fire. The fire's out now, no buildings or people were harmed. Okay, okay.

Back to work.

African, where people burn debris in heaps on the street, and catch trees on fire but then put them out, no big deal. Everybody calm down. Oh no wait, just me. Me calm down.

Cosmopolitan, where high rise apartment buildings surround the FilmAid office, where almost any amenity you can think of (Mom, a Clark's store...) is available at a complex across the way.

African, where sidewalks turn into red dirt paths and back, trees and greenery abound, 70 degrees is cold, and beds come with huge mosquito nets that make you feel like a princess. Or a colonist.

Cosmopolitan, where mzungus (aka white people, or more widely non-African) from all over the world come to live, play and get down to business with their Kenyan colleagues.

This mzungu, so far, is quite happy. Picking me up from the airport was C, an Australian who has a one-year placement at FilmAid in Nairobi. Which makes us the two mzungus in the office. Not only are he and his (also Australian) roommates graciously hosting me at their big 5-bedroom apartment for my first two weeks, C is helping me get oriented to the city in every which way. Stellar fellow.

Everyone in the Kenya office is super nice. They are folks with whom I've had working relationships for more than a year, but have never met face to face. As I've mostly been running a one-woman show in New York for the past year, it's really wonderful to be present with my colleagues and enjoy the day-in and day-out. Even the fires-that-are-no-big-deal-everyone.

My next project is making friends outside the house and the office - and after sending several emails to friends of friends (thanks to Aleema, Bradley, Abel, Dad, Kate and Elena) I've already got a bunch of friend dates set up for this weekend, including going to church with a family on Sunday morning. Awesome.

This is what Nairobi is like. After three days. Just about three months to go.

A Dedication

It is a bit strange to pick up where I left off four years ago, when I was blogging during my study abroad in Cape Town. So much has changed since then, about who I am, what I can do, what I want to do. But in a lot of ways I'm right back on the same path. Exploring, looking at the world with open eyes and taking time to think about it.

But this time, I am writing with someone in particular on my mind and in my heart -- the lovely, caring, beautiful Tiffany Abner. Tiffany's recent, sudden passing has cast my travels in a new light. In short: with knowledge that most of what happens in life is out of my control. Death, for instance. Or the people I meet, and the ways that they change me.

Of course, Tiffany was one person who changed me, who heard and understood me at times when I felt particularly lost or disconnected in the past few years. She is someone with whom I could share anything and everything.

A blog will not come close to that experience, nor should it. But in the spirit of Tiffany's compassion, I am hoping to share on this blog a little bit of vulnerability, a little bit more of the big picture, how it's all fitting together in my mind. A little bit more of what I could have said to her.

All of this seriousness noted.... there will be plenty of light heartedness to come. Good things are happening, all around, all around. I've spent exactly 24 hours in Nairobi so far, and I've been smiling the entire time. My heart is bursting a little bit.