Making Friends

My first weekend was all about meeting new people.

Friday, I had lunch with Z, introduced by Aleema from home. Z is "Kenyan Asian." I think she is of Indian descent, and her family has been in Kenya for generations. Z is starting up a consultancy in urban planning. At the moment she is working on a project with Kenyan university students and the Kenyan water and sanitation department. Z had lots of ideas of how to get out and about in Nairobi. I'm hoping we'll go to a theater performance together at Alliance Frances.

That night I went to a going-away party -- for N, who was introduced to me by Kate from home. I had never met N, nor obviously anyone at her party, but gathered the energy to show up and shake hands with a lot of people. The first person I met, as it happens, went to Lick-Wilmerding High School in San Francisco. No joke. I also met a lovely woman named E, who runs a relocation business (for expats coming to Nairobi) with two of her sisters and her mother. E and I had a wonderful conversation, and we're getting dinner tomorrow night.

Saturday I met S, introduced to me by Fadi from home. As it happens, S works for UNHCR's refugee resettlement program. I was fascinated to hear her stories about working with refugees, the terrible experiences that bring them to UNHCR, that qualify them for relocation. Only a very small percentage of refugees are resettled to different countries, simply because there are not nearly enough places who will take them. I didn't realize this, but apparently the United States take 70% of all refugees that are resettled.

That afternoon, S, her colleague K and I went to Kuona Trust in Nairobi -- an artists collective in a big open compound, with live music and open galleries to wander through. It reminded me a lot of Brooklyn, except less crowded and cheaper beer.

Sunday was the first day I got to cry since I got here. I'm glad. It makes me feel more balanced.

Lovely J (Chris's girlfriend) and I had an in-depth conversation, first about science and religion. Then about faith and knowledge. Then about truth and reality. And on and on. We agreed on most topics, but come from different backgrounds -- J is Balinese and practices the faith of her home village, which she described as a kind of animism. She is the first person whom I've told about Tiffany who I think is really open to my sadness. Our conversation was a blessing.

Earlier that day, I got to go to church with G and A, and their two sons. They were introduced through G's dad and mine, who work together back in California. I didn't realize this when I was planning to meet them, but G and A are from the Bay Area. Hanging out with them was a very welcome taste of home. After church we went to brunch, and then they brought me back to their beautiful home in Westlands - which reminds me a lot of Aptos. Wooded suburb with expansive back yards. It was nice just to spend time with a family.

After church and brunch, I went to an Australia Day party also in Westlands. Australia Day is something like Columbus Day in the U.S. Which translates to an excuse for a barbecue. And for J and me, also an excuse to have philosophical and emotional conversations.

And finally, Sunday night, I did yoga and watched Wayne's World with Chris's housemates.

I might be halfway around the world, but I don't feel like I've moved very far from Brooklyn or San Francisco! I'm hoping that I'll get more in touch with Nairobi's wide diversity and many interesting activities, but it feels good to be building a solid, comfortable base of friends and spaces in the meantime.

PSA #1-3

1. In cases where reliable internet access is required, the FilmAid parking lot is the strongest area of service. It is recommended that you set up a patio chair in the shade of a Land Cruiser. Bring tea and water.

2. Using bar soap to wash one's hair may or may not make it cleaner. It does, however, make your hair feel very soapy.

3. If nervous about attending a party where you know zero people, have no fear. Studies show that the first person you speak to will in all likelihood have gone to your high school.

What's Nairobi like?

At this exact moment, I can attempt to answer the impossible question. This moment, when I am three days in, still totally lost, and very aware of the big, obvious differences of Nairobi from anywhere else I've been.

Nairobi is African, and it is cosmopolitan. For instance:

FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!

is what I heard on Monday afternoon, from Sammy, the Communications Assistant (a title that doesn't do justice to just how much work he does), as he was running down the stairs of the FilmAid office.

First reaction: Wait, really? My first day?

No worries people. As a few of us followed Sammy outside, we saw smoke billowing from behind a high rise building across from the FilmAid office's back yard. (Note: FilmAid's office has a back yard.) The smoke quickly turned to steam. We heard from neighbors on their balconies that someone burning trash had caught a tree on fire. The fire's out now, no buildings or people were harmed. Okay, okay.

Back to work.

African, where people burn debris in heaps on the street, and catch trees on fire but then put them out, no big deal. Everybody calm down. Oh no wait, just me. Me calm down.

Cosmopolitan, where high rise apartment buildings surround the FilmAid office, where almost any amenity you can think of (Mom, a Clark's store...) is available at a complex across the way.

African, where sidewalks turn into red dirt paths and back, trees and greenery abound, 70 degrees is cold, and beds come with huge mosquito nets that make you feel like a princess. Or a colonist.

Cosmopolitan, where mzungus (aka white people, or more widely non-African) from all over the world come to live, play and get down to business with their Kenyan colleagues.

This mzungu, so far, is quite happy. Picking me up from the airport was C, an Australian who has a one-year placement at FilmAid in Nairobi. Which makes us the two mzungus in the office. Not only are he and his (also Australian) roommates graciously hosting me at their big 5-bedroom apartment for my first two weeks, C is helping me get oriented to the city in every which way. Stellar fellow.

Everyone in the Kenya office is super nice. They are folks with whom I've had working relationships for more than a year, but have never met face to face. As I've mostly been running a one-woman show in New York for the past year, it's really wonderful to be present with my colleagues and enjoy the day-in and day-out. Even the fires-that-are-no-big-deal-everyone.

My next project is making friends outside the house and the office - and after sending several emails to friends of friends (thanks to Aleema, Bradley, Abel, Dad, Kate and Elena) I've already got a bunch of friend dates set up for this weekend, including going to church with a family on Sunday morning. Awesome.

This is what Nairobi is like. After three days. Just about three months to go.

A Dedication

It is a bit strange to pick up where I left off four years ago, when I was blogging during my study abroad in Cape Town. So much has changed since then, about who I am, what I can do, what I want to do. But in a lot of ways I'm right back on the same path. Exploring, looking at the world with open eyes and taking time to think about it.

But this time, I am writing with someone in particular on my mind and in my heart -- the lovely, caring, beautiful Tiffany Abner. Tiffany's recent, sudden passing has cast my travels in a new light. In short: with knowledge that most of what happens in life is out of my control. Death, for instance. Or the people I meet, and the ways that they change me.

Of course, Tiffany was one person who changed me, who heard and understood me at times when I felt particularly lost or disconnected in the past few years. She is someone with whom I could share anything and everything.

A blog will not come close to that experience, nor should it. But in the spirit of Tiffany's compassion, I am hoping to share on this blog a little bit of vulnerability, a little bit more of the big picture, how it's all fitting together in my mind. A little bit more of what I could have said to her.

All of this seriousness noted.... there will be plenty of light heartedness to come. Good things are happening, all around, all around. I've spent exactly 24 hours in Nairobi so far, and I've been smiling the entire time. My heart is bursting a little bit.